I Want My Body Back

Dear Bean:
As you know, I love you tons and tons. But these days I would love you about 100 times more if you were out of my belly. I'm just so uncomfortable now and I'm getting so irritated with the way I look I'm just ready to have you out and my body back. And by saying my body back, I don't even mean my prepregnancy body. I just mean my body to myself. The one I will be able to control how I look. The one that will get on a scale and see the weight go down instead of up everytime. I can't even remember the last time I could take a bath or even lay on the living room floor and get up all by myself. I want to paint my toes again, well I'd like to SEE my toes again! I want to be able to have some wine or Corona or some yummy alcoholic beverage, although not being able to really doesn't bother me as much as I expected it to, but it would be nice to have one at my own leisure.
I always said I wouldn't be one of those girls who complain about the way they look when they're pregnant, but now I can't help it. I knew I'd gain weight, that nothing would fit, that there was the possiblity of getting stretch marks, etc. But now I seem to be so surprised when I find a stretch mark or notice how much bigger my thigh got. At first I noticed some stretch marks on the insides of my thighs where I have always had them, I just started get a couple more. Fine, I could deal with that, and then one day I look and there was one on my love handle. Ahhh! Not very noticable and Daddy thought it was just a vein, nope, not so much. And then the other day I notice the ones on the inside of my thighs have started to kind of move to the back of my legs as well. And in that same day I notice instead of one on that love handle there are like 3! So I wanted to cry. I don't want stretch marks! But than again, ask anyone if they do and they'll all probably say the same thing. So then last night I lay down and see the bottom of my stomach in the mirror...and there it was. 2 just dots that will become stretch marks. They are no bigger than a pencil eraser, but I'm just waiting for the day I look again and they've either traveled up or down. Hopefully that won't happen and they will stay those 2 little dots. Daddy just keeps telling me that they are normal and they will fade away in no time at all after you are born. I sure as heck hope he's right. :-/

But on a good/funny note, last night Daddy decided to try to learn how to work a diaper. He didn't even know which was the front or back, so he needed some lessons. Well we have no stuffed animals, except for one little bear. So he put it up on your changing table and tried the diaper out on the bear. He did a pretty good job. He's seen enough diapers be changed to know what was going on.

I love you forever and always Bean.
Love,
Mommy