10 Weeks Old

Dear Teagan:
You are 10 weeks old today! I can't believe it! Last night daddy and I were talking about it and he asked "Remember when you were only 10 weeks along?" And ya know what? I hardly remember that at all. I hardly remember anything about being pregnant. I can't really remember my life without you here. And then dad said well I hope that doesn't happen to him. And I didn't understand what he meant, but what he was trying to say was that he hopes in a year or so from now we don't forget what it was like when you were 10 weeks old. I don't want to forget any part of you growing up. So now I'm torn. I only have limited time with you on weekdays. Of course you are my #1 priority, but there are things that I must do at home. I feel guilty washing dishes and doing laundry although it needs to be done because in that time I should be spending it with you. I could spend every night doing dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. and 10 years from now be doing the same thing every night and try to look back and not have any memories of you as a baby because I was too busy with life. I don't want it to be like that. I wish when I was home I could be all yours. I mean I could put you in the Moby Wrap or Bjorn and wear you while I get everything done, but then it's not fair to daddy. Ugh. I just want more time to spend with you.
I probably only get to spend about 50 waking hours with you a week. That's only 2.5 more hours than I spend between working and the time it takes to drive to and from work. It's not right.
So on that note, I have sent out my resume to a few potential employers looking for different jobs. I hope something comes along for me. Daddy thinks I should take the substitute position and hope like hell it gets me a permanent position with the school next year. I'm just worried I won't get called into work enough and I won't be bringing home any money. The health insurance is no longer an issue because in January I can go back on Gramma's insurance since I'm under the age of 26. And then I'll just put you on Child Health Plus which is a way better deal.
We'll see!
Time to rush home to you and our nightly craziness.
I love you!
Love,
Mommy