Life's Crazy

Dear Teagan:
I came back to work on Tuesday. I was supposed to start on Monday, but I came down with a stomach bug. I was so worried about you and Vivian going to daycare since 4 of the kids from daycare had it over the weekend and 2 of their parents had it. But then it was me who got it. So far, you guys are still in good health!!
Things are crazy at home, just as I expected. You're not used to going to daycare everyday and being rushed every morning, so it's a hassle to get you out the door. And your sister, well she's just hard to predict when she'll be hungry and as you know, hates her carseat.
Night time is even worst. You are my stick-tight. It's so hard to get anything done because you're all about mommy. I don't know how to make you see/understand it's not all about you anymore. On one hand I feel like Vivian doesn't know any better so instead of hurting your feelings and routine, I do everything the same with you and daddy is on Vivian duty, but then on the other hand, I feel really bad that I don't get to spend any time with her...like at all. Unless I'm nursing her. Because mornings are crazy and then evenings and night time are even crazier. So she's lucky if she gets more than like an hour of intereaction with me throughout an entire day! It's just heart breaking. I wish you could hang out with daddy more. It's not that you don't like him, it's just you want mommy at night. I guess that's what happens when I've held you every single night before bed for your whole life. Old habits die hard. Although you did go through a daddy phase after I stopped nursing you. I wonder how we can get some type of routine down where on the Vivian's bath nights, you sit and read or watch TV with daddy.
The bad behavior you were presenting the first few weeks after Vivian came home are now subsiding. I think you've learned that it's not getting you anywhere, so that's good.

Although the company that daddy works for has no work, he's still working, for now. It's a guessing game whether or not he'll get laid off. Well, more like an if and when. There's talk of work up in Plattsburg, which will mean he'd be out of town from Sunday night to either Thursday night or Friday night, depending if they worked 4 ten hour days or not. I can not do it all alone. Absolutely not. It's way too hard with him home and me getting home at 6. I have a total of 3 hours to get 2 kids fed, bathed, myself fed, dinner cooked, milk pumped, bottles and pump parts washed, lunch ready for the next day, dinner dishes done, etc. Since daddy's working close to home, he gets home around 4 and usually washes the dinner dishes from the night before and tidies up the house and does a load or 2 of laundry. Which is very helpful! I just can't do it without him.

I'm looking for a new job. Either a little closer to home or an 8 to 4 or even 8 to 4:30 schedule. Any extra time at home at night would make a world of a difference.

Well, off to run a bazillion errands on lunch! I love you to the moon and back baby.

Love,
Mommy