Stupid Jaundice!

Dear Teagan:
Well we thought we would have you at home to ourselves by now but no. You are down in the nursery under the UV lights catching a tan while I sit here in this hospital bed. You're doing great though! Waking up every 3 hours exactly for your feedings and filling diapers left and right. On day 1 your bilirubin level was an 8.4, not too bad so they didn't do anything they just were going to check it again on day 2. That was yesterday. They said the lab would come get your blood at 6am, but no, she didn't show up until almost 8am. But my Dr. came in at 6am and said I could be discharged because I was good to go. We were just waiting on you! So we didn't get your results back until around 10:30. Then they said your level was at 11.3 so they wanted to take more blood at 2pm and we were hoping by then there would be no change and we'd be on our way. So 2pm rolled around and a lab tech actually was on time and so we knew we had about 2-3 hours to wait so daddy and I decided to go to the mall really super fast to get me some nursing bras and a nursing cover since we'd be having lots of visitors once we got home. So i stopped at the nurses station and told them I would be right back and the lady said that was fine. Next think I know we're walking through the mall and I get a call from the maternity ward saying I needed to come back asap. I thought something was seriously wrong with you. But luckily, that was not the case. I had apparently NOT been officially discharged on paper and I wasn't supposed to leave! Ahhh! Whoops! So we got back here as quickly as possible. The nurses thought it was kind of funny. So around 4pm they came in with the bad news. Your bilirubin levels were up to 14. So with that they took you away to the nursery for your tanning session. They said you needed to be under the lights at all times except to eat, and even then you were only allowed to be out for a 1/2 hour. I cried. I just wanted to take you home. I told dad he could go home and he was about to but then I started crying again. I was a mess. Between the hormones and the lack of sleep I just couldn't deal well. The nurse came in and brought me an electric hospital grade pump because I was so engorged and the manual one they brought earlier wasn't doing much for me. She said I had enough pumped to go home as long as I was back by 7am this morning. I thought about it, but I really did not like the idea of leaving you here and you feeding from a bottle and not coming out of the isolette. So I decided to leave around 6:30 and let the nurse feed you with a bottle of expressed milk and then I'd be back by 10 for a feeding. It made me cry seeing you from the window under the lights in the isolette. I knew it didn't hurt you or anything, but it was just hard to see. Daddy took me to grandma and grandpa's and he went home to the dogs and cat. If it wasn't for the animals I wouldn't have felt so bad about staying longer I don't think. I just felt like we haven't been home in like 4 days and then we'd come home with a baby and they'd be so mad at us. So anyway, dad dropped me off and I went in to grandmas and had another nervous breakdown. I didn't want dad to have to stay at home without us, but he was tired and cranky and needed to get some good sleep. Apparently when he got home he had a little bit of a breakdown too. He hated the fact that he had left us here. This was not the plan. The plan was for you to be born and then we all come home together as one happy family. I never thought I'd be at the hospital with you while dad was at home.
So I hung out with grandma for a little bit until my breasts hurt and I needed to get back here to pump. I got back around 8:30 and pumped then took a shower. At 10 I went down to get you and we came back and ate. 1am rolled around and a nurse brought you to me to eat. You had a hard time latching on at that feeding so I had to pump to get you to latch on. So after taking you back I set my alarm for 10 minutes before I had to go get you so I could pump before you came to me. That worked well. You were right on schedule every time. I'd get to the nursery and you'd be all changed and waiting at the door in your little crib. Then after eating I'd take you back and you'd fall right asleep until next time. The nurses said you must be eating good to keep you asleep for that long and that every diaper change was poop and pee. Which is exactly what we need to get that bilirubin out of your system!
They said the lab was right on time this morning at 6 and they took your blood. I'm waiting to hear back on those results and to talk to a pediatrician that will be seeing you today.
Well little man, you need to eat again in about 45 minutes so I'm going to get something to eat and go get you and see what the good word is this morning!
I love you tons and tons and I hope today is our day to bring you home!
Love,
Mommy