4 Weeks Old!!

Dear Teagan:
You turned 4 weeks old yesterday!! I can't believe how fast time is flying by! It definately didn't go by this fast when you were in my belly that's for sure!! You're more and more alert by the day and smiling more often. It may be a reflex or gas, but as usual I like to think it's at me! You've started sleeping in your own room every night. For 3 full nights you've been in there and have done really well. We get up twice as usual and you fall right back to sleep.
I'm pretty angry at the fact that in 4 weeks I've only recieved 1 disability check!! It's annoying. I'm broke, have bills, and bored staying at home. The weather has be crappy so we haven't even been able to get out for walks or anything. Although the other day we did walk over to the neighbors (Anthony & Renee) to see their new baby. She's 3 weeks younger than you and oh so tiny. I think you guys will be friends.
Tomorrow will be my first time leaving you for an extended period of time. And by extended I mean more than an hour, probably more like 4-5 hours, if I can handle it. We're going to go to cousin Layken's baptism and then we're going to take you to grandma ans grandpa's and daddy and I are going to our friend bryan's party. We would take you, but it's on his land where he doesn't have a house yet. So it's too cold for you to be out all day. And what fun would that be for you to hang out in your stroller/carseat for that long? So instead you'll go hang out with grandma, grandpa and aunt Lindsey.
So this whole breastfeeding stuff is just crazy! Okay not crazy, but everyone says how breastfeeding is so much easier and more convenient. Well, I've got news, it's not. To me it seems like it'd be easier to just scoop some formula into a bottle of water, shake and feed it to ya. But no, I have to wear tank tops every day because no one around here sells nursing tops, and under those tank tops I wear granny bras specifally made to make nursing easier. Then I have to find an appropriate place to feed you in public, or time it just right so you wont need to eat for a while. Or when we're not in public I have to excuse myself from everyone else to feed you so I end up sitting alone. Then after feeding you I have to get all my pump parts put together and pump whatever milk is left in me so I can freeze it. It's just such a process. And in the middle of the night when I pump that's when I end up getting the most milk, but it's super inconvenient to pump after feeding you then because I just want to get back to sleep. But if I don't pump at night then 1- I wake up so engorged and can't sleep unless I lie flat on my back because my breasts hurt so bad and 2- I compromise my milk supply. Oyeee. Buttt I feel like I'm doing the right thing for you and for me. You're going to be super healthy and so am I! And besides, formula smells bad.
Okay well off to check the mail in hopes I received disability check #2 today!
Love you pumpkin!!
Love,
Mommy